So much has happened to me since my last post on this site.....I don't think I have the time or energy to share it all now. I have been traveling through a deep, dark valley for quite a while now, but there are still tantalizing glimpses of the glorious peaks that surround me.
Since June 2008, I have been diagnosed with multiple autoimmune diseases plus fibromyalgia. In less than two years, I have gone from being a fairly healthy, active adult to a wheelchair-bound invalid who is holding onto two jobs by her fingernails. Most days I work from home because I don't feel well enough to go to the office....when I teach, I cannot do that remotely so must get myself to the college somehow. I have had my driver's license taken away due to issues with narcolepsy, vertigo and double vision, so my husband must drive me (or I take the bus).
But the Lord has blessed me beyond measure by leading me into an online friendship with Judy Dillard, author of "The Beauty of Pain", a small book full of humor, profound wisdom, and joy. Judy has lupus; among many other things, I have been diagnosed with a "lupus-like" autoimmune disease. I first encountered Judy in an online lupus group. I have been deeply touched by her testimony in this book....it has helped me to see that, YES, the Lord is able to turn anything to the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
He does have some reason for all that I am going through right now; I don't see it yet, at least I don't think I see the whole picture. I know now that one of His purposes is to help me to be a broken vessel, so that He can take the pieces and make me a vessel of honor for His use.
One scripture that has stayed with me lately is Psalm 51: 16, 17:
"For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it
thou delightest not in burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit:
a broken and contrite heart, O God,
thou wilt not despise."
For any who suffer from chronic illness, or who may have a loved one with a chronic illness, this book, "The Beauty of Pain", is a must read.
Blessings to all who may visit this blog.....
2 comments:
Goodness, I had no idea. Hard, very hard.
JoAnn, thank you for posting this. I did not know.
Wish I could sit with you, just to chat. And thanks for that book recommendation.
With love and prayers,
Monica
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